And Now For Something Completely Different

“What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.”
Cool Hand Luke

“Houston, we have a problem.”
Apollo 13

As the title suggests, I’m going to go off topic for this latest edition. Since being diagnosed, I have had many people try to give me words of comfort. I know they mean well but let me hit on a couple of things that have occurred to me about some of the more popular phrases I’ve heard.

“God won’t give you more than you can handle”
When you’re in the midst of battling a life threatening illness, this is not what you want to hear. Even though as a Christian I know this to be true, I had several times during my illness felt as if I couldn’t take anymore and I was ready to give up. When you hear this, the first thought is “easy for you to say. You aren’t going through this”. It just may not be the best thing to say at that time.

“Everything happens for a reason”
Absolutely right, but it doesn’t help that one of those reasons involves death. God doesn’t always decide to let everyone live. Sometimes the plan involves us continuing on to the promised land. Although Christians should be happy about entering the gates of Heaven, it doesn’t necessarily mean we want to go right away.

“We’re not promised tomorrow”
I have said this one myself many times. Recently I have begun to think more about this however. While it is true that we may not be promised tomorrow here on Earth, God has promised us tomorrow, either in Heaven or in Hell. Those of us who have accepted Christ as our Saviour are promised an eternity in Heaven. I look forward to that, just hopefully it will be a few years down the road. If any of you reading this have not accepted Christ, I challenge you to take the time to investigate it yourself. Don’t take my word for it. It is ultimately each individual’s decision to make. This is my personal beliefs and I’m not trying to force anything on anyone.

I hope I haven’t offended anyone. That was not my intent. Maybe there are some who disagree with what I have said. I am only speaking from my personal experience. I promise that on my next blog I will step down from my soapbox and get back to my usual cheery self dealing with the big C.

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6 Responses to “And Now For Something Completely Different”

  1. Randy Says:

    Excellent choice of conversation and excellent worded! I read something recently that was very similar and I can’t agree more. Don’t worry about offending anyone. I once told a preacher he stepped on my toes with his sermon and he told me that he hoped it wasn’t him but was the Holy Spirit. Needless to say he (or He) stepped on my toes again with that comment. What I’m trying to say is that if you offended anyone, they probably needed offending. And that includes me.

  2. Margaret Tucker Says:

    Scott I know this has to be a hard time in your life,People mean well but sometimes it is best just to be there for a person to listen to them and pray for them.I have gone though health problem myself.And we have nearly lost our son 3 times.But prayer is the main thing to carry you through.I will continue to pray for you and your family.God bless you!!

  3. eMatters Says:

    Excellent points and thanks for sharing!

  4. quadconpana Says:

    Empathy can be a scary thing when you are faced with trying to understand extreme suffering. I really think sometimes our “words of comfort” are only comforting to ourselves. They allow us to protect ourselves from the totality of what you are experiencing. And, while it seems cold, it is natural and necessary.

    Someone caring for a contagious patient would wear a mask and gloves to prevent the infection from spreading to themselves. So, while there is a level of isolation, the important thing is that they are providing care. In much the same way, those who love you want to share your burden, but must occasionally put it down to return to their own lives. My favorite way is to say, “I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I don’t think I could handle it as well as you are.” That gives me permission to stop imagining it.

    But, remember one thing. Those who aren’t there for you at all will never say the wrong thing, because they aren’t saying anything.

  5. Joyce Taylor Says:

    Well said, my friend!

  6. April Phillips Says:

    I can’t begin to imagine all you’ve been through. I do know that your courage and strength has been incredible. I would be pissed off that I had Cancer. It pisses me off that you have Cancer. I hate Cancer. I love your blog. You should write a book 🙂


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